about flirtation

“My attitude to it seems to be so different depending on how far from me it takes place. I can laugh at it or encourage my friend to flirt, when it is far away. I can consider it funny and a lil bit dangerous when it gets close to me, when somebody tries to flirt with me and I keep smiling for few minutes then I disappear and everything is finished. Or, recently I’ve found out that the same phenomenon can cause to me a soul crash. That’s interesting how seriously your partners flirtation can lower your self-esteem. At least my feeling was that I am not worth a farthing. This idea mixed up with the sudden change – as I used to evaluate differently the situation – was a falling down from a window at the tenth floor. Useless metaphore.. it is painful.  It’s nobody’s fault, moreover, there might be somebody to laugh at it. There is a principle that should have helped me: “it’s normal and necessary to have love affairs while not giving up your couple”, but it only tries to enter my brain; I feel soon it will make a hole in my brain, but I will never believe in it. Only tears could help me. I’m too little and I know nothing, but it was hard. Maybe it’s a bad dream and I should forget about it; or maybe as soon as I forget it will happen again”.

Trace Adkins, You’re Gonna Miss This